i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she smelled like a LAN party
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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