Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
