Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
