Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
