Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
