I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
how drunk are you?
Several
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
