Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
