i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
