I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
