Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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