Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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