Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
