he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
