When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
