dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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