I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
