this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
