i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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