It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
