If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
