I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
