there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
