Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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