And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
