You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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