OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm really busy with my period
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