help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
