The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Drunk is not a location!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
