he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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