I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i think i just lost a toe
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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