Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
