chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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