Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
