Tell her she can't have a vagina
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
