You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
