I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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