Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
