Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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