Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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