I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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