Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
home. puking in laundry basket.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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