i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
