you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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