This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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