i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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