If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
