fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
