Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
