And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
