i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
